re-thinking this project and allowing myself the artists’ freedom to re-write and re-imagine it’s parameters every time I feel this is necessary.
the new-ness of the vision turns out to be a new-ness of my own creative work as well, the vision upon my own art and creation suddenly changing after years of stagnation, fear ….
the vision upon what my art represents, it’s worth to myself and my own connection to my creations.
a connection I partially and then completely lost some years ago.
The cliché of letting it go, but then it seems this is the only way. And I did. Let go. Considered what a life without an art career, even a tiny insignificant one, would mean.
Freedom. The surprising answer. The freedom to to be, to see work as a means to earn money and art as a means to express my visions and ideas. Without any pressure to please.
I still think that every artist should be paid for her /his work and that includes being paid for exhibiting their work (!!) but I have taken the need to make money with what I create out of the equation for the moment.
Grateful for every financial support, but not bound to please or conform to any idea of what and how I should create.
Maybe for many this sounds obvious, „of course you are free in the art you create“, but that isn´t true. Once you are, even only a tiny little bit, known for a certain kind of work, it is hard and difficult to break out of this way of creating.
Anyway.
I am making new work.
But not only that. I am using old works to create new ones. Cutting out, destroying and re-purposing my work. To create a new vision for myself and eventually for those who want to see and enjoy it.
It is a liberating gesture, maybe a bit of a violent one as well, to rip apart old work, to cut in it, to throw parts away, but it also feels alive and good to make something new out of works that have been gathering dust and that made me feel bad and weighed me down.
For the first time since 2014 I feel some kind of excitement again.
I want to create and I want to share what I create.
On my terms.
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